When joining the workforce, many of us have this belief that society and our job requires us to be “professional“. To the majority of people this seems to mean toning down your personality, confirming to whatever norms you perceive there to be at the workplace, “not rocking the boat“, not making people upset, expressing less empathy, and prioritizing productivity, efficiency and results over kindness. However, to have human relationships in the workplace, we should not allow ourselves to drift into a state in which we are too robotic, although this can be challenging, especially in stressful situations or periods of time. You are still a human being, even at work.
Kim Scott, New York Times Bestselling author and former CEO coach for companies like Dropbox and Twitter, shares the value of radical candor in her book Radical Candor: Be a Kick-ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity and on her podcast Radical Candor. Radical candor challenges us to balance the other person’s personal needs with our own.
Implementing Radical Candor
How can you implement radical candor without being manipulative, coming across as aggressive or lacking empathy? Here are the key points to radical candor and how you can be both yourself and a humane boss at the same time:
Radical Candor Is Not Brutal Honesty
Brutal honesty has a negative connotation. We can not be completely honest all the time and in all situations. That does not mean we should lie, but rather weigh our words, choose the right setting and way of delivery. Scott puts brutal honesty in the quadrant of “obnoxious aggression.” Radical candor, however, is thoughtful and helpful. Obnoxious aggression is typically perceived as hateful and rarely helpful.
Do Not Avoid Difficult Conversations or Criticism Altogether
Radical Candor identifies manipulative insincerity as the worst leadership style. It involves avoiding difficult conversations or criticism altogether, often due to fear of conflict or damaging relationships. This fake praise or sugar-coated feedback does not challenge people to improve and leaves them in the dark about their performance. To avoid this pitfall, Kim Scott emphasizes the importance of both caring personally (showing you value the person) and challenging directly (providing honest feedback for growth).
Radical Candor is Not Insulation from Discomfort or Allowing Failure
Radical Candor warns against ruinous empathy, which is favoring sympathy rather than helpful criticism. We should not protect people from discomfort or allow potential failure by letting poor performance or bad ideas slide. This approach ultimately weakens both the individual and the team. To avoid this, Kim Scott advocates for direct communication while balancing it with caring personally through providing honest feedback wrapped in empathy and delivered with good intentions.
Show Radical Candor in Your Feedback
Do not beat around the bush. Take the person receiving feedback to a private place. Do not embarrass them. Clearly lay out the parts of their proposal, offer, presentation, or document you like. Then, lay out the parts you do not appreciate, why and how you would like to see them improved.
Pay attention to their reactions when giving feedback, check the other person’s expressions. If the other person reacts positively, move on. If they do not, acknowledge what they are feeling, although, do not let their reaction deter you from making your main point.
15-Second Policy
Use radical candor at home with the 15-sec policy. If a challenge can be fixed in 15 sec, tell the person. If a friend has something in their teeth, their fly open, tell them so they can fix it. If there’s a larger challenge, wait to mention it until it can be fixed.
Giving Feedback to Friends
Imagine you have a friend who is going through a tough period. When they call, it is typically merely to talk about themselves and their challenges. They do not ask think about you or care to enquire about your needs. To address this, be transparent. Tell them you understand and care about them, but need more from the interaction in order for both of your needs to be met.
Radical candor can be implemented in most, if not all, situations where conflict may arise or feedback is necessary. Those practicing radical candor do not sugarcoat the message, but consider how the other person will take the news. It is the practice of being direct, honest and transparent, but human.
To learn more, read about a related concept here
The Asoh Defense: The Art of Taking Responsibility for Your Mistakes
Slideshow version of this article explaining Radical Candor
We highly recommend this book. The key points are meant as a preview and not a replacement for the original work. If you are intrigued after reading this, please consider purchasing the original book to get the full experience as the author intended it to be.
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