Solomon’s Paradox
Solomon’s Paradox is a cognitive bias that refers to the tendency that most people have in being better at making wise decisions about other people’s problems, than their own. The term was coined by psychologists Igor Grossmann and Ethan Kross in 2014.
Origin
The paradox is named after King Solomon, who was known for his wisdom and ability to make wise decisions and counsel, solve complex problems and make fair judgments. However, Solomon himself made some poor decisions in his personal life. According to the old texts, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Solomon’s many wives and concubines led him to worship foreign gods, which divided the kingdom and led to instability. Solomon’s wealth led him to become prideful and arrogant, making him a poor leader. In the end, Solomon’s kingdom was divided after his death.
Reason
There are a few possible explanations for Solomon’s Paradox.
- One possibility is that we are able to remain more objective when we are evaluating situations and offering advice in relation to other people’s problems. Since we are not emotionally invested in their problems, we can think more clearly and rationally. As stated by Sam Harris: “To a first approximation, wisdom is the capacity to take your own advice.” It is that easy, yet it can be quite challenging.
- Another possibility is that we are more likely to seek out information and advice when we are making decisions about other people’s problems. Rather than being stuck in old thought patterns (which most likely got into the situation in the first place), relying too much on past experience or knowledge, or being burdened by non-constructive self-talk or a strong ego that does not want advice, we want to make sure that we are making the best possible decision, so we are more likely to do our research and get input from others.
- It is also possible that we are simply more critical of ourselves than we are of others. We tend to focus on our own flaws and mistakes, while we are more likely to overlook the flaws and mistakes of others.
Example
- You are a friend of someone who is struggling with a relationship problem. You are able to offer them clear and concise advice, and you are able to help them see the situation from a different perspective.
- However, when you are struggling with a relationship problem of your own, you are much less likely to be able to see the situation clearly. In such a case your emotions and history in the situations are likely to cloud your judgment and ability to the situation objectively. This may lead you to either not find a good solution, or make you more likely to make rash decisions that may not serve you or your relationship.
Solomon’s Paradox can be a frustrating experience, but it can also be a valuable learning opportunity. It can be considered an avenue to help us understand our own biases and to become more objective in our decision-making. It may allow us to further develop our empathy to be more understanding and supportive of others who are struggling with problems.
What To Do
If you find yourself struggling with Solomon’s Paradox, there are a few things you can do to help yourself:
- Try to be more objective in your thinking. Attempt to step back from the situation and see it from a different perspective. Imagine that it is a friend who is in a similar situation, and consider what you would advise him.
- Seek out information and advice from others. Talk to close friends, family, or a therapist.
- Be patient with yourself. It takes time to overcome Solomon’s Paradox.
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