1. Make Them Say It Again
When you calmly say: “I need you to repeat that.”, or “I want you to say that again.”
Then they don’t get that hit of dopamine that they were expecting from your reaction.
Now you have put a spotlight on their behavior, and that will make them nervous.
2. Use Questions of Intent
Regardless of whether they had the guts to repeat it, you are now going to turn the tables against them using questions of intent to illicit the true intent of their action. These are question such as:
- “Did you want that to hurt me?“
- “Did you intend to embarass me?“
Instead of a spotlight, they now have a mirror that they have to face themselves with the question “What was the purpose of saying that, what was my actual intent?“
3. Don’t Respond
No matter what they say, don’t respond. Let your silence be your answer.
They are going to say that they are just joking. Or, they are going to start to get uncomfortable, ramble on and stumble in their own words. Perhaps starting to backtrack. When they do, just let that feeling linger with them.
Then, you are the one who seems to be in control. In charge.
That is how to handle someone who is trying to belittle you.